As you might have guessed from the title of this post this is my summary blog post for 2011. Today is the last day of what was a very tough year not only for me but for many people. Here are some things that happened this year (to us personally) that I won’t forget:
~Starting the year in Cairns with my family.
~Starting the year with depression and the longest list of physical symptoms caused by stress I’ve ever experienced.
~Watching as Cyclone Yasi hurtled towards my family (blogged here).
~Seeing my painting on the cover of my friend’s book (first time thats ever happened).
~Watching as many of our friends were evacuated from the Roleystone hills from the bushfires.
~For the first time in my life having to have counseling for extreme stress.
~Finding the perfect dentist (erk! Seven fillings), Psych, Nutrition Specialist GP and Chiropractor (sounds forgettable but wasn’t).
~Being amazed at my wonderful friends and family and their constant support.
~Struggling along as I watched my hubby apply for new ministry positions and be rejected due to opposition.
~Finding a new church and getting to know some amazing people who will be lifelong friends.
~Having my parents visit for a month and skipping down memory lane with them as we drove to Cunderdin and Mukinbudin as well as staying over at Keswick.
~Finding my art mojo a bit more and setting up my art space for the first time.
~Being stunned when my hubby was appointed Chaplain at the same public school my daughter attends (God really surprised us with that one).
~Celebrating Little L’s third birthday with a music party.
~Getting brave and entering into my first art exhibition ever (well, since uni).
~Getting braver and sending in artwork to Phoenix Trading.
~Learning the hard way how to deal with rejection.
~Receiving a phone-call that my Mum had hurt her back and was in hospital.
Flying to Cairns unexpectedly to help out Mum for two weeks.
~Celebrating my Dad’s 60th birthday with a surprise party and surprise guests!
~Celebrating Miss K’s 6th birthday.
~Winning tickets to the Perth Royal Show and going as a family.
~Joining up as a Phoenix Trader (while still sending in artwork).
Sickness and Struggles.
~Enjoying our ducklings hatching.
~Christmas with Michael’s parents and watching the girls open their presents.
~Flying once again to Cairns to spend Christmas with my family.
Looking at that list I don’t think it really spells out the stresses I have felt this year. There have been times where I was convinced I had all kinds of illnesses and at one time I thought I might die (seriously). It wasn’t until the Lord directed me to a doctor that understood the power of stress on the body and mind that I was able to calm down. She was wonderful, explaining the deficiencies my body had due to copper overload and the effect that has. I was amazed, blown away. The level of stress we experienced in 2010 in finishing up at our last church was the worst I have ever experienced. That’s me being honest. The pressure was so great that its looking like I might have some permanent physical damage or at least damage that will take a couple of years to get over. Let me show you the difference between then and now. This was me on Jan 6 this year:
This was taken at the botanical gardens around the time I was sitting in the black cloud described below.
and this was taken this week:
Just a ‘bit’ of a difference.
Back in January I wrote a post called The Butterfly. At the risk of making this a very long post, here is what I wrote back on January 27th this year:
New Years was like a switch for me. I spent the first week of this year feeling at my lowest point. I was very worried that I had depression as well as a full set of a variety of diseases due to some physical symptoms that I had developed. Each day I woke up in a black cloud and couldn’t shake the feeling. I was also lethargic and unwell. In retrospect I can see that there were physical (a virus), emotional and spiritual issues causing all of these things.
At the end of that week I sat out on my parents balcony and talked to God. I cried and I asked him how I could get rid of the physical symptoms I was having and talked to him about how I felt. I told God I felt as if I had no real purpose at this point as we didn’t know what we were heading into this year. In the midst of this God spoke to me, not out loud but he definitely spoke. He gently showed me that I must take responsibility for my stress and for allowing it to get a strangle-hold on me to the point of physical illness. He showed me that I cannot blame anyone else for my physical state because its only me who can allow others to effect me. I apologised to the Lord. I told him that I take full responsibility for not trusting him and for being a hypocrite when it comes to taking my own advice.
The next morning I still had some of the physical stress symptoms but that black cloud was gone. The symptoms were niggling at me so I decided once and for all to go to the Doctor and put my mind at ease. I went to two doctors, one just did a blood test which showed nothing was wrong at all, the second did a thorough neurological/physical examination and told me ‘you do not need to worry about your body, just your mind’. I’m very glad she said that, just those words helped my ‘mind’.
That Doctor hit the nail on the head but like I said, it wasn’t until around May when I saw the specialist that I was convinced.
I ended that post with these words, ‘I am looking forward into the blank space that is 2011 with the words of my Mum ringing in my head ‘isn’t this exciting, we get to see what God will do now!’.
What did God do this year?
‘He lifted me out of the slimy pit,
out of the mud and mire;
he set my feet on a rock
and gave me a firm place to stand.
He put a new song in my mouth,’
a hymn of praise to our God. (Psalm 40:2-3a)
Thats what He did. I did not do it. God is the one who has got me to the end of this year with a stronger mindset, less physical symptoms and with a fresh outlook. Its all due to him. 2012 is still full of uncertainty but I can say with complete honesty that this year really will be ‘exciting, we get to see what God will do now!’
Happy New Year everyone!
