The past 7 days have been highly stressful, higher than we’ve felt in a long time. Quite often when friends or family are going through similar circumstances I have given out advice or reminded them them that God is still there, still the same and still in control. Well, it was time for me to take some of my own advice. Thankfully I have friends who know exactly what to say and how to support us when this sort of situation arises.
What situation you say? Well, the first half of the week held some surprises for us job-wise but I won’t talk about those here. It was the second half of the week that caused most of the stress levels to be raised. We visited our child health nurse for a scheduled appointment on Tuesday morning. All was going well until she went to write L’s head measurements into her purple book. Her face showed a bit of concern and in turn mine must have mirrored hers because she asked why I had that look on my face. She said that the next time we go to our GP we probably should mention the head size to him as it can indicate some things (she didn’t mention what). This did not ring alarm bells too much as I was told left, right and centre that she simply has a big head.
Fly forward a few days and my brain had been ticking over. What could it mean? Are there family members who have large heads? What if its something serious? My poor little bubby…..ok, we’ll go to the GP. I had another reason to go anyway so booked a double for Friday. The GP looked at the record, measured and remeasured, grimaced and said ‘hmmmm, there’s a condition called Hydrocephalus (water on the brain) which can cause rapid head growth in babies’. He answered a few questions about what that means and what would be done but that was all. He recommended a visit to a paediatrician. My heart rate went up. I sat there watching my brain go from ‘its probably nothing’ to ‘it really could be something’ as he phoned for an appointment. He got one for the following (just gone) Monday afternoon which was good.
I can tell you now, those three days were very very long days. My ‘Mummy’ brain just wasn’t able to settle with the notion that she simply has a big head. I looked the condition up on the net and found that the large head was the only symptom she had but still my brain would not let go. I was a mess Friday night. I did not eat tea and I hardly slept. I put a status update on my facebook page and many people sent me my own advice. I tried to apply it. It was hard.
Saturday I spent some time with my parents, I needed a distraction so we watched Wall-E in the afternoon but Saturday night Michael had a men’s program at church to run so I was on my own. K got packet pizza, I ate nothing. Somewhere late Saturday night the knots in my stomach shifted to a feeling of excitement. Not good excitement but the tightness changed.
It wasn’t until late Saturday night when Kathleen’s email came through that I started to settle a bit. She was sharing a bit of her personal troubles and the power of prayer when she included this verse:
Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen (Eph 3:20,21)
Immeasurably more……….more……….more than we ask……….his power. Powerful words. These really struck a chord with me. Immediately my heart started to beat slower.
Sunday was a reasonable day. I was still a little bit upset but I think I’d resigned to the fact that this was out of my control. She either had it or didn’t have it.
Sunday night I slept well. The girls slept well and I woke refreshed. Monday I felt very calm, even to the point where I said to myself ‘that’s right, the appointment is soon’. There is only one thing I can put that down to…….people praying. This was a big lesson in prayer for me. Its the first time in a long time that I could physically feel the effects of it. I’m not saying that I had no nerves at all but they were no where near what I thought they would be.
Finally 2.30pm rolled around and Michael and I set off with L to see the paediatrician. We got in right on time and he was so reassuring that I felt even more relaxed as soon as we walked in. Funnily enough his first comment was ‘wow, she has a big noggen (head)’. He gave her the once over, she grunted at him when he wouldn’t let her roll over and then he measured her head. He got a bigger reading than both the nurse and GP and then announced ‘Michael, you have a large head, I think this is probably genetic’. Apparently Michael has a big head. He did not realise this and neither did I, I mean it looks in proportion to the rest of him so it doesn’t really stand out.
After my prodding and poking about the aforementioned condition he stopped me and said the sweetest words I’d heard all week…..’I can assure you, its not that (water on the brain), I’ve seen many cases and this isn’t it’. I could have hugged him but I was strangely calm. What an amazing relief. He’s still ultra sounding her as a precaution but he doesn’t think it will show anything.
Last Monday I was not convinced either way, I had no idea at all what he would say and yet I was calm. This has nothing to do with me at all, I’m not a calm person when it comes to stress. If you were one of the people who prayed for us this weekend, let me say thank you from the bottom of my heart. We both appreciate your care for us and from now on I’ll make a bigger attempt to put my own advice into practice……….until the next time I, like most of us need reminding.
PS. This post over at Kingdom Journalism really says what I am getting at about prayer.
