I AM a good mother

I was standing in Kmart this morning, shopping with Keziah and observed a lady at the end of the isle who was very very pregnant. I looked at her and her cute little girl (who looked about 3 years old) and thought, ‘cute kid!’. Just as I was looking at her and thinking this the mother reached over and yanked something from the child’s hands. It was a Wiggles DVD that she was going to buy.

As she yanked it from her hands she yelled ‘don’t do that!’ and proceeded to whack her daughter over the head and look at the ‘damage’ she did the the sticker on the front of the DVD cover. She then looked at her daughter and said ‘you’re such and idiot!’.

I stared in disbelief and the very first thought that came into my head was ‘I AM a good mother’. Now, that may sound selfish but its the truth. I felt awful for the little girl and can’t imagine what her childhood will be like if thats a regular occurance.

Now, by saying that I’m a good mother, I’m basically comparing myself to this lady and saying she’s a bad mother. There could be several reasons for her doing what she did:
1. She could be very tired being so heavily pregnant and walking around with a toddler all day.
2. Hormones.
3. She was having a rough morning.
4. Stress.

For all I know she may have felt bad and apologised to her daughter later on but I didn’t get that vibe. Is she a bad mother…….hmmmm that may be a harsh judgement call and I don’t know all her circumstances. All I do know is that I would never do that to Keziah and I immediately felt as if my mothering skills aren’t as bad as I thought. Is that a bad conclusion? What do you think?

This entry was posted on Wednesday, July 25th, 2007 at 2:32 pm and is filed under All Sorts of Things, Family, Keziah. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

5 Responses to “I AM a good mother”

Candy Says:

I don’t thin you judgement was harsh. If she treats her daughter like that in public which I might add should never have happened what is she doing when she gets home . There is no need to treat any child like that over such a minor thing. You are a good mother Amanda and I know that Keziah would never be treated like that. I just feel for the little girl and what the childhood that she is not having

July 26th, 2007 at 7:05 am

Michelle in Mx Says:

I am getting very pregnant with a 3 year old daughter rand an almost 2 son . . . I have been in that scenario . . but OH HOW SAD! I have reached my limit with the two, and have hissed at them between clenched teeth, or resorted to a pinch or a finger thuwauck if needed . . . and in a case (often) when my daughter picks something up she is bound to have us buy, I take it with us up to the counter and just hand it to the clerk letting them know we won’t be taking this one. There may be tears, but I’m good at ignoring it.
In what you saw, what hurt me most wasn’t the crack on the head, but the damage to the heart . . .
One thing I believe in very strongly is the power of our words . . what we ‘declare’ over our kids . . . “don’t do that” fine, but she could have stopped there!
Sticks and stones may break bones, but words have the power of life or death. (Prov 18:21)

July 29th, 2007 at 12:38 am

Sarah Says:

Amanda this is a good question/topic because so often we compare ourselves to others and make them the yardstick by which we evaluate our ‘goodness’.

As you know I have no kids but I’ve frequently seen mothers in public losing it at their children, either physically or emotionally. I know a girl who gets drunk and constantly swears at her two-year-old son. At first thought I’m disgusted at such behaviour because what hope does a kid have of growing up NOT to swear in that kind of environment.

On second thought, that is a real fear of mine - that if I do have children some day I will end up like that woman you saw. I don’t WANT to be her but I know that I’m prone to frustration and impatience and can esily see myself ‘losing it’ at my kids in difficult circumstances. It’s not an excuse, just a weakness. That’s why I feel like a potential hypocrite if I judge that woman.

Putting obvious abuse/neglect of children aside, it’s hard to make evaluations of other’s parenting skills when we all different standards e.g. the smackers and the non-smackers.

Seeing stuff like that makes me keen to support my friends who are parents, to make parenting as easier for them as possible.

July 30th, 2007 at 10:56 am

Molly Says:

This has been a really interesting discussion. I think that I agree with Michelle, the lady’s words are what really disturbed me. I felt awful for her hitting her child but to think that the little girl will grow up being called an idiot (if it was reoccuring) is heartbreaking.
Sarah - before I was a mother I too had these aspirations and I still have them. I really do want to make sure that I do nothing to damage my child mentally, physically, emotionally etc.. but I know that I’m not perfect and its likely that there will be something that will slip out at some point that I will regret. Thats why, after considering my first reaction to seeing this (thinking to myself that I am a good mother), I can’t judge this lady. Having said that, I do think I am a good mother and do the best I possibly can. I also think that this lady could really do with a friend and someone to give her some time off!

July 30th, 2007 at 2:34 pm

carol wilson Says:

No question: you’re a good mother. Your honest love for Keziah sticks out all over the place. There may come times when you’re sure you’re a terrible mother (spoken by one who’s been one for 45 years). So we apologize, hug, and move on.
Bless you,
Carol

August 2nd, 2007 at 6:07 pm

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